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Lego Marvel minus Xmen

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In between us talking fervently about Pokémon and recently the Neptunia series on a blog originally supposed to be about Resident Evil, we like to talk about Lego games.

We heart Lego games.

We were not huge fans of the last Avengers title, with its overly long levels and the painful audio which was lifted straight from the film.

And frankly left us pining for how great the previous Marvel game was, mostly due to it not having the silly Disney/Sony Split allowing X-Men to interact with the Avengers (its shit we live in a world where this happens).

So you can imagine how we felt watching the new trailer for Marvel Superheros 2! We had to push it down the leg of our trousers, and ask for someone to pass us a pillow...


...and one we finished off and had a little cry, we noticed from the trailer... No X-Men? No Deadpool, No Sony franchises?!??

I have a bad feeling about this.

Love and Lego DC vs Marvel,

Richie X

Welcome Stranger

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Um we have a shop?!

That guys has been around for over 10 years fuckin' up the blogosphere (back when blogosphere was a relevant word), and in that time we have expanded our eloquent and envious 1337 prose skillz into dicking about in Paint.

Over the next few weeks we would like to showcase some of our "efforts", first up:

Fossil Warhol:


This is an homage to Warhol's portrait screen prints done in multiple colours, in this case the shiny sprites have been used, with their original colours in the background.

As featured here: Le Geek C'est Chic

Be like us, own one: Buy Stuff


Love and 3 year old posts,

Richie X







Nintendo have invaded my F2P market...

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Almost all of us play mobile games, as a time-waster (or avoiding eye contact) waiting on or in public transport. I tend to have a few on the go at one time, I recently "Finished" the Family guy: quest for stuff game, which is wholeheartedly one of the most shallow city-building/farm building games out there. I have not spent a penny on that, it wouldn't even be satisfying to spend a penny on that either. Another gem I have been plugging away at for the past few months is Evoker which is an oddity you set 5 cards which have different attributes and abilities. You level up cards, through solo play which uses and energy mechanic, or PvP which uses a second energy mechanic. Essentially you can only play for roughly 3-4 mins before you are locked out for about 2 hours (more at higher levels). But that was fun collecting the "team" you wanted to face off your opponent with... etc. BUT Its suffers as a Pay2win title, if you spend money on it you, and I suppose this counts in some small credit to them, get random chance at the overpowered Legendary cards. Fun but very slow.
And of course there is Hearthstone... A brilliant example of what "F2P" should be where you genuinely want to play for the experience. I'm a year in to that one and still enjoying it.

However as many of you know Nintendo have decided to grab the ass of the F2P market and see what kind of a reaction they get. They did so initially with Pokemon shuffle, which we initially spread our legs for, but now... I dont know, it's just not working, we were good together, we had some good times, but something is just missing. So we had to split up, like passing ships in the night.
At least that is what we tell Pokemon Shuffle! The truth is there was another F2P game out there, it was younger more fun, and it did things that Shuffle just wouldn't do: Pokemon Rumble World.

Oh man Rumble World! Its great it's essentially a mini-Diablo clone, where the epic lewts that drop are actual characters that you use. They have rares and randoms, they have a collection system, you can dress your mii up, you can spot-pass, and street-pass folk, You even get legendaries. And it all sparkles and lights up like the glorified gambling game it is.

It has become quite life consuming, my 3DS has replaced my phone as my main tool for time-wasting on the tube, the level of enjoyment from this little title is insane, and has quickly pushed any other handheld games to one side. Anyways it's "Free" go get it. I'm Sure Cunzy has a poem or something he wants to share with you about Pokemon Rumble world...

Love and EUPHEMISMS are meant to be subtle Richie,

Richie X

/AFK

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...Playing Fallout 4 solidly...


Please maintain your expectations of truly high quality bloggage from TGAM at a minimum level (or lower than normal).

Love and Vault Dwelling,

Richie X


Miitopia

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It takes a rare kind of game to awaken us from near permanent retirement from TGAM blogging but Nintendo's new Masterpiece, Miitopia is such a game. Love 'em or hate 'em Miis have been around for eleven years now and they've certainly outlasted the Xbox avatars (have they? I've not checked. Which Xbox are we on now) and whatever those fugly things were on PlayStation.

We made a semi-topical picture joke which no one will get in 3, 2, 1.Old now.  

We've had plenty of good times with Miis over the years, racing karts, fishing fish, golfing golfs as well as giving Nintendo personal information about preferences through Miitomo (is this still a thing?). Team TGAM loved Tomodachi Life even though there wasn't that much to do in it, we still spent a combined 298 hours and 28 minutes doing it. Miitopia is what Tomodachi Life should have been and frankly, should have been released in 2007 but it's here now.

The premise is simple, take the fairly standard JRPG trappings, job system, populate the world with your Miis for your main party and key characters in the story, add some limited amiibo compatability and then... nope, nope we need to say something about the amiibo compatability.

Don't worry, it's nothing original just that this game, much like other offenders, the awful Animal Crossing Amiibo Festival was a prime opportunity to work compatability with all amiibos into it. Instead there are a few costumes you can get for tapping an amiibo but the vast majority just give in game items. Do you fucking love Charizard or Little Mac or Captain Falcon so much you bought the amiibos? Well tough, you don't get anything for them. It's just lazy Ninty amiibo implementation on a Ninty game by Ninty for a Ninty system. Doubly frustrating given the vast numbers of the glorified plastic statues that still don't have any extra features outside of one or two games, aside from the ubiquitous bonus items implementation. Guess what, tapping five amiibos a day for jewels/gems/rupees/tokens ain't cutting edge gameplay.

Anyway. the set up is simple and although we didn't see any adverts for it, it's likely that the marketing suggest you go on a Mii adventure with your sister and your teacher! The reality is 30 something men engineering cock jokes on Mii adventures with Hitler, Mr. Burns and Jack Black.

I'll shut up now. Here are some picture and you can make your own mind up about it. WARNING here be some event and environment spoilers ahead if you're really bothered. You've been warned.















9/10 Easier than writing the same self-insertion 'self-insertion' fanfiction over and over again.

Richie:

...Hold up, Hey-ey, Hope you ready for the next episode...

I'm gonna chime in with my own two cents here.

Its very clear that Miitopia was during it's conception it was either a F2P title or one of those spotpass games. It has weird relic mechanics that hark back to the spotpass titles (Clearly your team mates were never meant to be selected by you, rather they were supposed to come from spot passes).

Though this gets a bit jarring, it doesn't detract away from the fun within this game! the interactions and random banter make you smile, and proper laugh out loud.


There is a great random factor in this game, which is a bit of a double edged sword. In-game you have access to all of the most popular Mii's used, some of them get randomly assigned to random villagers, loads of fun... Except the most popular Miis tend to be the most over designed ones. and sometime you end up with the shit like below:

Walrus is a great looking Mii! but is over-designed to a point where its nose is actually a mouth which pisses me off, no end. Especially since you cannot "un-assign" those random Miis

That jarring example aside, the game is solid and fun JRPG that doesn't take itself too seriously.
 Pink Tranny or not, Jesus loves you

8/10 Worse things to do with your commute. Selfinsertion:selfinsertion #Selfinsertion

Love and Princess-job,

Richie + Cunzy





Doki-Doki Nightmare fuel!

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Wow, just wow...




Doki-Doki Literature club is an amazing piece of work. A truly horrifying, 4th wall breaking,  experience, all wrapped up in a cutesy visual novel about school life.
And that is so true, the game really messes you around on several occasions, making you believe you are making choices but you are not and that terrifies you even more.
Warning *spoilers* ahoy!

After a certain event the game glitches the fuck out and send you in a weird spiral of messed up events as if something never happened...

You are then approached by an in game character who orchestrates a series of events to prove her love, and even after this confession the game still continues you down a path of truly fucked up madness.




Seriously, its free, play it! A whole new approach to gaming, more immersive than that time you had to change controller ports in metal gear.

Love and only Monika.

Richie X.




Pokémon Sun & Pokémon Moon Wash-up

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This weekend, it'll be Adios Alola and Alola to, errrr, Alola as we leave Pokémon Sun and Moon to start the adventure once again in Pokémon Ultra Sun and Pokémon Ultra Moon. We initially reviewed Sun & Moon back in December 2016 so in this cutting edge piece of investigative journalism we interview the writing team behind award winning gaming blog That Guy's a Maniac to see what impression the game will leave a year later and some hopes for the new games out this week.

How many hours did you clock? 

Cunzy1 1: So I ended up clocking nearly 330 hours on Moon, it's only Sapphire on the GBA and Y that I think I've played for longer.

Richie: A meager 250 hours on Sun, my lowest clock up of hours for any Pokémon game (X was over 1k hours!)

What did you like about Sun & Moon?

CZY: I thought there was a lot to like about Sun & Moon and part of that tried and tested iterative design from the Pokémon Company brought and bettered a lot of good ideas from previous games and ironed out some of the kinks. I think, number 1 for me though was getting rid of HM moves. Finally. I've been playing Pokémon Yellow and Silver on the 3DS virtual console and I'd forgotten how annoying it was having to carry around Pokémon with dig, surf, etc. Only took 20 something years to sort out.

Richie: Playing dress-up!

What didn't you like?

RCH: Levelling, what a nightmare! Play festival plaza to unlock a stall which gives a bump in levels, do that twice, then buy rare candies... in ORAS you fought a few Blisseys a couple of times and boom lvl 100. I didn't like Pelago that much; the bean mechanic seems a little F2P-ish for me and makes me think it was jammed into the game but originally designed as a mobile "add-on".

CZY: European GAME giveaways. Why, oh why, do Nintendo keep up this partnership? One thing that's quite annoying is the lack of a national pokédex too. I've worked hard to catch them all so why can't I see them all in this game? I'd also really like the option to be able to rapidly transfer items from one game to the next. There's now hundreds of unique hold items but it's a slog to have to find, buy and earn all of them every game. The day/night gimmick didn't add much either. 

Thoughts on the new Pokémon?

CZY: As I mentioned in the review, new rock types were kinda thin on the ground but I ended up using Lycanroc and Minior pretty much throughout. I can take or leave many of the new legendaries Tapu Huey, Tapu Louie and Tapu Dewey. Really didn't like the Ultra Beast designs either. Alolan forms are a nice addition and a way of mixing up some old favourites. As for new Pokémon Toxapex is a great design and everything about Mimikyu is just great.


Richie: 80 new Pokémon added, and most of them felt like they had been there forever, but that is not a good thing, in fact, it puts them squarely in the realm of underwhelming!
The legends and UBs are their own thing and always end up as box fodder for me. And starters are starters, always impeded by a silly situational ability.

My standouts from new additions of this generation are:
Mimikyu: see above.
Toxapex: a total pain in the butt defensive type, with a a poison twist, love it.
Pyukumuku: I love the idea of this little guy; solid defences and a potentially scary ability (however severely limited by its movepool).
Dhelmise: cheaty grass/ghost Pokémon, which also gets a unique move with an ability which essentially renders it a ghost/grass/steel type Pokémon. Awesome.

Who was on your team?

RCH: Kommo-o, Dhelmise, Toxapex, Salazzle, Palossand, Snorlax
CZY: Snorlax, Minior, Lycanroc, Solrock, Primarina, Pikachu


Z-Moves or Mega Evolution?

CZY: I was unsure about both these extremely anime gimmicks and I've been following the anime too and both are an uninteresting key plot points. Some of the Z-Moves are cooler than others. I've got a lot of time for Pulverising Pancake and Continental Crush but I think I prefer Mega Evolution. I could leave both though as I think having that extra hold item offers more advantages, which I guess is the trade-off right?

Richie: Z-moves, I had so much fun with Snorlax's "Metronome" giving me random Z-powers: "Random factor, like a tractor"

How was the end game?

Richie: I spent it shiny hunting, which crushed my soul.

CZY: It was fine, I liked the fact that a lot of the running around was removed from some of the end game and the post 'story' bits were good. 

Did you get Zygarde/Eevee quest?

CZY: There was substantive post-Elite Four story stuff with the Ultra Beasts which has been better than previous games. I did get all the Zygarde cells for the Power Construct Zygarde which I promptly put in Bank and will likely never use again. It's impossible to do without a guide especially with some of the cells only being available in the day or night. Eevee quest was okay too. I hope there's just more of this in Ultra.

Richie: Meh, got Eevee, was not inspired by the Zygarde hunt.

So, SOS battles?

Richie: At one point it was 2 shiny Dragonairs, 1 shiny Dratini and roughly 5k SOS kills throughout February and March. I had to put Pokémon down and play Miitopia instead after all that. That aside, fun mechanic, if a little long-winded. Clocked me up a shiny usable Alolan Grimer and an Oricorio (4 shinies for the price of 1).

CZY: Ugh, both addictive but ridiculous. A number of times when I went SOS hunting, I went through all the emotions waiting for a shiny to turn up. Had I missed it? Did I accidentally KO one? What if this is the run when one literally never turns up? Am I having fun? Is this a good use of my life? I'm divided. But then fuck you 'cos I've got two shiny Rockruff, a shiny Nosepass and Jigglypuff. 

To add to this anxiety, whilst hundreds of KOs into SOSing a Jigglypuff I must have accidentally missed a shiny Happiny which inexplicably appeared on the rotomdex. Another painful moment in gaming.  

Where does it rank in the series?

Richie: Best yet, easily so much quality of life improvements, but so much room for improvement!

CZY: I think I agree. Going back just a few games and there's a lot of grind that has been cut out with Pokémon Pelago, SOS battles, EV training and IV checking. 

Hopes for Ultra Sun and Moon, the last 3DS Pokémon game?

CZY: In general I hope it follows the other 'third' games so you can transfer Pokémon over from the start rather than scraping through the early game with a throwaway team before using ones we've been prepping. I'd love for there to be a mechanism to transfer over all those unique items rather than having to buy and find them all again. I hope there's Bank integration sooner rather than later and I've not seen details of this anywhere yet.

Richie: More utility! There is still too many points which are heartbreakingly grindy. Levelling up quickly the option to not watch that hatching animation (or have multiple hatching)! I dug the O-powers of old and would like to see them resurrected.

And beyond 3DS Pokémon games?

CZY: I really, really hope that whatever's coming on the Switch will allow Pokémon from the older games to continue to be transferred. I've been using some of the same Pokémon since 2004's Fire Red, transferring them from game to game from GBA to DS to Gamecube, Wii and 3DS and I'd love for that to not just abruptly come to an end with a big series reset. Nintendo have gone to great effort to make transferring between handheld systems possible, I'm not even sure how this would be possible on the Switch (Richie: Bank!?). As for what these games might be, I'm open to seeing it mixed up a bit. As much as some see the series as a stagnant reworking of the same game over and over, there's so much depth and strategy and that's the reason why it's still such a popular and critically acclaimed series. 

Richie: More dressing up.

SUN & MOON FINAL TGAM REVIEW SCORE: 8 penises out of 10, takes more dedication.

Love and chugs,

Richie and Cunzy x x and special guest starring our boyfriends Spanneke and Vikingbeauty. 

What's better than 1 shiny?

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via Instagram

Four shinies in one! Oricorio is gonna take us through Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon. Serving up a cool synergy with Ribombee. Go Alolan!

#omastar #Oma

Another year: what's next?

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Wow another cycle of the globe: Another 12 months of lax posting and unenthusiastic wordsmithery.


What happened to you guys? Well we could blame it on getting older not having the time to play games (RE every other blogger out there). We could blame it on the spark of venom and fire that once fuelled our passionate ramblings being quenched by our latter years "contentment". We could also blame it on our lack of motivation to keep spouting in a saturated genre, how can we even compete with the plethora of video game blogs, increasing their production values, not to mention the gaggle of youtubers (*collective noun required) vaping and shouting down their mics as they play the next generic shooter.

Well whatever it may be, TGAM ain't dying any time soon. TGAM started way back in the heady mid 00's, we have been around longer than some bloggers!  and this dead horse has plenty of years of beatings left in it.

So what have we got lined up for you?
  1. More "reviews", this year we are going to enter the world of steam curators. Expect more obscure and awkward scoring systems.
  2. Sex sells, as does Cephalopods. Due to our dulling imaginations we will do sequels to our most "successful" posts (Boobs, Nude Cheats, and Omastar, see below).
  3. Lists (meta).
  4. Dollies! Yeah, turns out Cunzy and I like to take pictures of out dollies and we may just make TGAM a platform for these pix.
  5. Instagram. Um yeah there is a TGAM instagram, it's not very good. We tried to link it to the blog, and it still wasn't very good. We might pretend we will do something about it, at some point. But likely just let it stagnate as yet another trigger enabling us cry ourselves to sleep at the same time as we contemplate our chronic self-destruction.
  6. A Pokémon post. 
  7. Guest bloggers.
  8. A reference to us as "gamer-girls".

Love and why is all your content about not having content?

Richie X

This is what Datamining was made for!

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The internet is a swamp of too-much-information, littered with ads and scams. But every so often you find a little gem, a proverbial "Diamond in the rough"

And you guys know you can count on us at thatguys.co.uk, to bring you the news that you care about, one month after it surfaces!

People datamine the Pokémon games, mostly to see hidden stuff like characters or items, but some total legends have decided to datamine the hell out of Jynx and have researched and theorised about Jynx's Boob Physics.


Credits to: JynxClub Twitter

Boob Physics? Yeah "boob physics", since the average gaming age is going down many of you 'gamerZ' wont remember the heady days of the mid naughties where "Boob Physics" was gratuitously thrown around buzzword in the Blogosphere.

The technology for rounder (sic.) character models was finally starting to reach the the monitors and TV screens at home, the days of triangular pointy Lara Croft boobs, were becoming a thing of the past (for better or for worse).


It was all very contencious, Team Ninja were at the forefront of this technological leap flaunting their grounbreaking technology with titles like Ninja Gaiden, and the Dead or Alive series... and an actual slider for "bounciness"


But anyways I digress,

The folks over at Jynxclub. which I am guessing is less of a club and more just one person with a borderline unhealthy fixation on jynx, have said this:

Jynx fact that no one needs to know:
Jynx's boob animation and bone structure were the last elements added to the 3D model animation. 
Yes, they do bounce. 
That means that they found out they had enough budget to do it.
Not only that it was also someone at gamefreaks job! 



Breaking news: The 2 boobs are animated separately and are not locked together like in Pokemon Battle Revolution.

Love and googling "jynx" genuinely bring up Nikki Minaj results.

Richie X

South Park: The Fractured but Whole

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South Park is old. Like really old, it has been around for over 20 years! Despite that it is still pushing boundaries and entertaining.

We played the last one and thoroughly enjoyed it!


Its back again! Last time in Stick of Truth" the South Park kids were playing dungeons-and-dragons-esque wizards and Elves stuff. This time they are playing superheroes. So all the story/combat is based around superhero classes and powers. And it's great.

My parting thoughts on the previous South Park were "All in all, If you like South Park, just fucking play this. It's brilliant." and that still rings true with this one too! Fans of the show will get so much out of this game. Interacting with the denizens and soaking up that South Park atmosphere.

Having played the last game, one thing that struck me straight away is that the game hadn't changed. Well, not significantly, the aesthetics, walking around and the town map had not undergone a particularly spectacular overhaul. I was pretty pissed! the game had been delayed and delayed yet I found very little initially"different" I wondered if I was playing an expansion pack rather than a new game.

Thankfully though after scraping the surface there were some exhaustive changes to mechanics, and of course tons of new story!Frankly even if this game was an expansion I'd still play the shit out of it!

So whats New?


Outfits!

Outfits mean fuck all in this, and that is  they are entirely aesthetic you can spend ages customising with crazy (copyright infringing) superhero costumes. I'm really glad they put a dressing-up-dollies simulator in there!



Mini games!

There is a plethora of dance dance revolution type minigames throughout the game including shitting, Every toilet you find in game has a shitting minigame where you time button presses and "waggle" sticks to win.

Selfies!

As painstaking as it is that every game nowadays has a "selfie" option, from WoW to GTAV, I like South Park's the most! its basically an Instagram simulator, and its great fun for exploration and finding all of the characters from the series (and some inconsequentials you never heard of)



There is also a tone of other updates to puzzles and the combat mechanics which are, well... you know not really worth explaining, just play it.

Love and Emo Pink Wonder Woman!

Richie X

Dolly post: Misfire

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Alright so, at Xmas we promised we would take pictures or our toys (or "dollies").

First up is everyones favourite magenta decepticon, our modern day RosenKavalier: Misfire.

Misfire is one of the original targetmasters and one of the "sort-of" regeneration of the seekers. The targetmasters made their debut in the final three episodes of the (western) cartoon "The Rebirth":


A collection of Misfire with awful animation.

TakaraTomy have recently, release their Legends version of Misfire, (LG-52). The legends version is Japanese revised version of the Titans Returns one,  with more accurate colouring and the added bonus of a targetmaster (though is headmaster was called 'Aimless' and so is his targetmaster...)


Anyways Enjoy some lovely Hi-res pics of Misfire and his buddies:

Say hello to my little friend
 
Side box art with a tiny squished face

The name's Fire, Miss Fire... wait what?

Yeah so I did some focus stacking, got the lighting all correct, couldn't fucking transform the gun properly, could I? Prick.

Love and what on earth does this have to do with Resident Evil?

Richie X

Bob Wakelin: Imagination fuel

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Bit of Shitty news: Bob Wakelin is dead... You can easily be forgiven for asking who Bob Wakelin is, but truth is he probably touched your life in some way without you realising.

Bob Wakelin was particularly famous for "Box Art" back when games were physical, you used to buy games in oversized cardboard boxes or in cassette tape and box form. And on these boxes was box art. And is was art, these guys were given the unenviable task of taking 8-bit sprites and re-imagining them. And imagining is the key word here the wonder of this box art is that is set a precedence for the game itself, no-one was under any false pretences that the box art would emulate the in-game graphics, but when you were playing it it would enhance the level of imagination you placed on it, especially when trying to decipher what some of those pixels were!

Bob's portfolio is extensive and I want to just showcase a few of our favourites:

The Newzealand Story:
The New Zealand (Newzealand?) Story, a game where a kiwi with a bow and arrow, must navigate the monster filled areas of New Zealand to save his girlfriend. This game holds a great place in any 80's child heart, that music is super nostalgic!

 I dare you to magnify this image, you can count the pixels on one hand!


Rainbow Islands:

You know Bubble Bobble, yeah the one with the blue and green dragons, that blow bubbles, capture enemies in the bubbles, then explode the bubbles to defeat them... the one with the repetitive and catchy theme tune, Yeah? Did you know that the dragons (bub and bob) were actually humans that had a spell places on them. Ever wondered what happened to them after those 100 levels of the same 45 seconds of repetitive music? Rainbow Islands happened, this time its not bubbles but rather rainbows, that you jump on, then the dropping rainbows can defeat enemies...

I believe the rainbows came from a pouch of "stardust"... That clears that up

Parasol Stars:
Parasol Stars, AKA Rainbow Islands 2, AKA Bubble Bobble 3. In this outing the down trodden duo, Bubby and Bobby have enlisted the power or an umbrella, which catches raindrops and can fire them to turn bad guys into edible treats.

Logic: the pink Piano is spitting out clockwork bivalves, best get my umbrella on it 

Love and Bubble Bobble Theme tune,

Richie X

Praise the Fairy

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Pixelated and graceful fantastical queen
You rule the of the of the bottom my garden, called the 90s
Separated by time
But my pixelated love for that decade’s alt Japanese pop culture,
like you will never die

Each year those letters “E”
Climb ladders and fall slowly, “X”
distancing
I try to grasp at you and encapsulate you “T”
Grappling back-and-forth,
Anxiety heightens
The bi-pedal shark
The unicorn snake “R”
The Amorphous yellow blob with ears
All march on to threaten my clenched prize

Faster as floristry agglomerations spawn
shiny plant buds.
*Boom*
“A”






Love and Deviant art really has everything,

Richie X

In Love With The Nintendo Switch Capture Button

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With the Nintendo Switch's Capture button it's never been easier to snap a screenshot or your favourite games as you play them. Something that Nintendo has never been great at up until now, beyond titles that offer their own screenie buttons or with a strange Miiverse faff on the Wii U. It's not the most straight forward to actually get the images off of the Switch but we've done it to share some of our favourite screenshots from all the Switch titles we've been playing recently.


 
(Is this even a Switch screenshot?- Ed.)


 Happy Screenshotting!

Pokémon Go: Back with a Vengance

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Oh boy,

Many moons ago we covered Pokémon Go in our regular/not-so-regular bit: Are mobile phone games any good yet? And our list of gripes beyond not being able to log in included:
  • Does this actually have anything to do with the actual games (is it canon?)
  • Whats the point, beyond collecting them with an annoying catch mechanic
  • How do gyms work, why is no one explaining this?
Two years on and even though there is still login problems (particularly trainer club accounts), the question of whether this will ever be compatible with the real games is still being asked, the game has improved! Not massively, it has not arisen like a mighty Ho-oh from the ashed of its former self, but neither has it eeked out like a wet quagsire queef.

Niantic have bothered themselves to include a friend system, this allows you to connect with your IRL friends and rival each other, and even help each other out with trades. This only seems like a little thing but it has re-kindled a little bit of love for the game. You know like when charmanders tail was going out and was about to die, then charmander realised that he could add that guy from HR who he didn't realise played pokémon go, but did play pokémon go, so now they can both trade and whatsapp each other when they spot an alolan diglet in the wild.


You can dress up!  Everybody likes playing with dollys!

There is also gyms... gyms didn't make much sense in the past with "prestige", now gyms are um a little easier, but also easier to just steamroller... I'm not sure what is happening here but gyms are pretty much still a WIP.

Raids... Right so raids happen, this is when a good pokemon appears in a gym, you and your mates team up, take it down to give you an improved pokémon (good stats or even shiny). This genuinely makes the friend system valid again!

Um yeah, are mobile games any good yet? Does Pokémon go count as a game?

Love and squeeeeeek-thrwwwpt,

Richie X

The evolution of the Donkey Kong Opening 'Theme'

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We love video game music here at TGAM and although there's been a rise in acceptance that listening to video game soundtracks or going to see concerts of the greatest hits isn't a weird thing to do, it's still an under appreciated part of video games.

Nintendo have been knocking it out of the park recently with their sountracks, especially on collaborative projects. Pokken Tournament had a soundtrack far too good for it (Haunted HouseNeos City and the phenomenal Magikarp Festival are favourites). Kirby games just keep remixing and reworking the seriously strong themes, Kirby's Epic Yarn's Lava Landing is a particular highlight of recent titles. Fire Emblem's game is strong with the J-Pop earworms from Tokyo Mirage Sessions #FE through to Fire Emblem Warriors (This Precious World stands out in particular blending Fire Emblem Awakening and Fire Emblem Fates' themes). The Splatoon series is deserving of a thesis or two on the storytelling through music alone and Super Smash Bros. has obviously, hands down, one of the greatest video game soundtracks of all time, cheating somewhat, but delivering with remixes and remasterings that put even the best fan efforts to shame.

But today I want to draw attention to a particular 'song' from the Donkey Kong series. It doesn't even have a name, it's called Donkey Kong (Opening) in the Super Smash Bros. Brawl soundtrack but it's inconsistently labelled by the community. It can be found in almost every Donkey Kong title going back to Donkey Kong on the NES. Here's the song I'm talking about, unless you're visiting from 2019 in which case enjoy these broken links and IMAGINE what I'm talking about.

  
That's it. Just a tiny little tune and it's not even obvious to find. It plays if you sit on the title screen for a while and only again if you game over, wait for it to return to the title and cycle through again. It can hardly be called a theme and no doubt many players of Donkey Kong on the NES will have never have heard it. I find it a lovely little tune but what makes it even more special is that it's been carefully carried through the whole series by composers even though it could have easily been missed. Donkey Kong Country on the SNES makes a very obvious call back, with the game opening to Cranky Kong playing it on a cranked (geddit) gramophone before the very 90s young'uns appear with their new fangled themes and music and whatnot. The song ties together the DKU, and, yes, I want to punch myself in the face for calling it the DKU. 



Then there's the excellent remix for Super Smash Bros. Brawl which is the only track you should set for 75m really.

   

It's tucked away in both Donkey Kong Country Returns games with a really nice easter egg of the gramophone from Donkey Kong Country and the theme in Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze.

   
Surprisingly, there's a really nice version of the song, remixed with the Super Mario Brothers theme on the title screen of niche title Mini Mario & Friends Amiibo Challenge. I've not played any of the Mini Mario games so I wouldn't be surprised if it's in others. Here it's calling back to the long history between Mario and Donkey Kong and one of the original titles they appeared in together. It's also hella catchy.
 
So, with the announcement of Mario & Rabbids Kingdom Battle: Donkey Kong Adventure, my little face beamed when the tune was tucked away in the teaser trailer, seen and heard here at 1:38 coming from a massive series of organ tubes. Sweet.


I'm just amazed by the attention to detail from composers who have maintained this tiny little ditty throughout the series and you'd forgive many players for not noticing it even exists. It itches the brain aurally in the same way that crossovers, cameos and inside references do and I get that rare tingly spine feeling every time I find it in a game, hidden or not. I'm sure this tune is tucked away in a number of other Donkey Kong games but the fact that it doesn't have a proper name and that video games are still quite bad at promoting, curating (and selling) video game music means its not the easiest to hunt down. Drop us a line if you've found it somewhere unexpected! Although it is quite subtle there are other video game fans who have found and fallen for this little tune. There are a stack of some fantastic remixes out there but I'll leave you with one of my favourite versions, this choral and orchestral version from Games in Concert 3. Enjoy.

 

 (Opening) Cunzy 1 1

Devil May Cry 4 – a game from 10 years ago

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Devil may cry 4 is a game which features the constantly irresistible man-crush “Dante”. In this game you play initially Dante’s brother (Vergil) which has been reincarnated-ish as Nero, you traverse an island, kill bosses, and then you do the same, but in reverse with Dante.

So… Devil may Cry 5 got released which made us Nostalgic back to the days when plastic instruments in videogames were all the rage.


So we dusted off our old copy, nah… We downloaded the special edition version! and had a burn through. For those of you who don’t know the “Special Edition”, it has some extra “content” to include Vergil, additionally you get to play as Lady and Trish, they all have their own movesets, (if slightly reminiscent of Dante/Nero).

As we are super “woke” here, and are all for equal opportunities we thought we would give the (big-tittied) ladies, Trish and Ladya go.
Lady doesn’t have a giant ghost Vergil Arm, she has a harpoon instead, and lady gets a blended selection of Dante’s moves.

And well, as much as the special edition is great, it all of this seems to be an afterthought. The CG cutscenes are simply removed and you follow exactly the same path, puzzles and even enemies as Dante/Nero.

So in short, we played through, had an adequate amount of fun. Definitely charged up for DMC5


Addendum, Thatguys and Dante Devil may cry have always had a “complicated” relationship

DMC4 had always been a source of inspiration for us creating one of our highest traffic pages ever: Devil May Cry 4. Best. Cosplay. Ever.

We did a half-hearted follow up to it, mostly because we hate Kotaku*
Devil May Cry 4 Bestest. Cosplay. Ever.

*Example 1: that link is a holotypical example of our distain for Kotaku, please don’t click it, it will rot a little bit of your brain.


And we actually did a genuine interview with the guy wo did the photos for the nudey cosplay photos:

Love and Happy Dante-Mas to one and all,
Richie X


P.S. That Ninja Theory DMC doesn’t count.

Lego Marvel Super Heroes 2: A Review

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Wow, well... We at Thatguys sure do love our Lego games and with Lego Marvel Super Heroes 2 it's no differe....

...Woah, just hold up a minute there fucko, are you seriously nonchalantly doing a fucking post on a game from a year ago? Are you seriously gonna fob of this bullshit on us and not even actually acknowledge that your post rate has dropped from 200 per year, down to 8 per year?  Actually, No, I don't even want to hear your fucking excuses of "oh my gosh I'm so old and busy", or "I don't play games any more". That is fucking lies, and you know it, you are rationalising your neglect of a platform that brought you so much joy in the mid-naughties. You have probably spent more time on it in the last 3 years, updating to make it pretty than you have on actual content! "second greatest videogames blog of all time" pffft Prick. Go ahead do your fucking flaccid lethargic literary dry hump of a post on a game people no longer even care about. I hope you fucking choke on the rancid pseudo-positive tone you place on it. Cunt...

...nt. Firstly! We gotta note we were apprehensive of this one, no Sony franchises, no x-men etc. Had us worried! As the first Lego Marvel Super heroes nailed that! But! despite them being missed they rest of the game, it still delivers! Deadpool is brilliantly replaced with Gwenpool, a change I would have been happy with even if they didn't have the license!


And oh man, the love and attention to detail on this one should not go unnoticed! Just that opening movie and level, the licensed music from Guardians, the Peter Quill movements. Spot on! Somebody was properly doing their job there! Don't get us wrong here, its the same formula break stuff, build stuff, solve a puzzle, find a secret, come back again and find more secrets. Of course we all realise that this is a little nod from Telltale games around the philosophy of creation and destruction :)

...Excuse me?!? What the fuck is this even... Oh my God, you smarmy jizz stain, This is not funny, this is just sad, Firstly, "We all realise" oh do we all, or is this you just saying "if you didn't realise this then you must not be that in-the-know!". Secondly, What the fuck is "the philosophy of creation and destruction" eh? Oh yeah which philosopher, what actual educated philosopher dedicated a chunk of his life to this "philosophy of creation and destruction"? You don't even fucking know. Fucking Cunt. Finally, I have to re-state this its not even funny IT'S JUST SAD, what are you trying to prove here, why even include this? fucking self-edit you deflated penile polyp. Oh and on a side note, you can massively fuck off and just die with that emoji...

I think what has made me happy with Lego Marvel 2 is the move away from the "Manhattan" created in Lego Marvel 1, which was then again, without shame, reused in the awful Lego Avengers game. And following from that I'm so happy that Lego is telling their OWN story, when they end up using sound bites from the movies is is so super cringe! I reminds me of Windows 3.1 when you used to have soundbites of Frasier and Beavis and Butthead as part of your sound scheme, and they were so poorly edited that they still had laugh tracks appended to them.



Finally, what I am most pleased to see is new features! This game includes a multiplayer arena! In which you have several different modes and can team up against the CPU or play vs each other. This is the Lego feature that I didn't even know we needed.


All in all I can without hesitation say this is the best one so far! Now I'll see you guys in a year when I finally get round to playing DC Villains!



...Right is that you done? Satisfied? Got that shit out your system? time to sit back on your laurels passive-aggressively wait for Cunzy to do a post? Yeah whatever thanks for the token bullshit post, fuck off for a couple of months until the guilt of the website takes you over and you feel entitled to actually review one of the many games you actually have played? There is no real way to emphasise  the pure venom in the words "fuck off, cunt" when I use them at you... 

Love and internal dialogues,

Richie X
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